It’s the End of the Year as We Know It and We Feel Fine
Greener Pastures’ December 2021 Newsletter
Welcome to Greener Pastures’ last newsletter of 2021! We’re as pleased as a puppy who ate the holiday stuffing that you’re here with us today. The year brought a whack-ton (technical editor term) of new readers to the publication, and we’re going to celebrate by listing the top five most read pieces in our publication for the year.
Let’s goooooo!
Number Five: Stoned on Red Love
Wooderson from ‘Dazed and Confused’ Celebrates National Redhead Day
In the number five slot is a piece that is better than “alright, alright!” Written by Ryan Zaharako and published in November, it’s an ode to the movie ‘Dazed and Confused.’ Come for the movie references, stay for the classic Woodman voice.
This piece had nearly 600 readers feelin that ginger Jedi love.
Check out more of Ryan’s work on Twitter at @BleedingMarine.
Number Four: Shots and Bad Decisions
Long-Term Covid Vaccine Side Effects That Didn’t Quite Fit in the Fine Print
Andrea Bianchi wrote our fourth most read piece on Greener Pastures. June was just the beginning of hot-vax summer and she perfectly tapped into the world’s post-second-shot mania.
Over two thousand readers gave this one a read before making 2021 a summer to remember.
Follow Andrea on Twitter at @writingandrea
Number Three: Bourbon and Regret
Cocktails for parents at college drop off
After a year and a half locked up in the same house, parents released their college-aged young into the wild. If you’re trying to find the perfect drink to pair with selling your house before junior moves back in, Jen Scully has you covered.
Nearly three thousand readers found their dream drink this past September.
Check out more of Jen Scully’s work on Twitter at @JenScully.
Number Two: Person, Woman, Man, Camera, T.V.
“If I’m Mentally Unfit, Then What Are You?” Says President Biden in Letter to GOP
The first insult any elementary-school-aged child learns is “I know you are, but what am I?” Cassie Soliday and Matt McCart took this age-old form and elevated it into a glorious retort for the rest of us.
With a little over three thousand reads, and resting at the second most-read piece for 2021, a bunch of us clearly needed to blow off some steam.
Follow Cassie on Twitter at @CassieSoliday.
Number One: These Boots Eat Your Shorts for Breakfast
I have a Superpower and It’s Called “Wearing Combat Boots”
There ain’t no fan like a Tomb Raider fan. Justin Avery Smith’s saucy ode to the first lady of video games, Lara Croft, nearly broke Greener Pastures at 4.5 thousand reads. That’s not views, folks, those are the number of people who read this piece. (And then possibly went out and bought some combat boots of their own.) Has anyone come by GP to give us a share of the combat boot cash-o-la? They have not.
Follow Justin on Twitter at @JustAVerySmith.
All of these pieces brought a lot of joy to the editorial team and friends of Greener Pastures Magazine. If you haven’t had a chance to read one of them yet, it isn’t too late! You know you should. Everyone else is doing it.
Writing Tip of the Month
It’s the end of the year, y’all. The tip is to take a break if you need one. Read something good, watch bad t.v., and generally try to recharge. January is coming, with all of the talk about goal setting. If you’re someone who likes making resolutions, you’ll be in a better place to think about meaningful resolutions if you give your brain a little recess.
Some of the Greener Pastures editors like to set up a rejection goal. As in, we try to get a certain number of rejections for our own personal writing work in a year. This isn’t as masochistic as it sounds. You can’t get those coveted acceptances without getting a bunch of rejections. Keeping track of rejections is a great way to manage the stress of rejections, because you’re still ticking away at a goal. Editor Teresa noticed that she submitted a lot more work to publications once she started using this method. Maybe this will work for you.
But if setting resolutions or goals isn’t your thing, then screw it. Don’t make any. You are the boss of your own writing.
Get to Know the Editors: What is Your Favourite Way to Toast the New Year?
Note: Ash and Brett like to ring in the new year as international men of mystery, and can’t reveal their true activities at this time. Good luck, soldiers!
Amy: Food! Last year I rang in the New Year with a big pasta dinner (and an early bedtime) — this year I’m thinking a late brunch. When in doubt, order pancakes!
Kegan: ¡¡¡DaNcE pArTaYyY!!!
Mike: Normally I go with whole wheat, but I like to mix it up with a pumpernickel every now and then.
Teresa: A box of Roger’s Chocolates, a bottle of champagne, and zero regrets.
Susan: My favorite way would be a cabin full of booze, food, and friends, with zero serial killers. But have only had the luck to celebrate once this way. All other times everyone was murdered by serial killers.
Cassie: Kissing and champagne rampage. Nothing fancy. Or scary.
Happy New Year! Thanks for Being Part of Greener Pastures!
